I have always been afraid of rejection. I never dared to ask a girl out because she might have said no. I once stopped looking for a job because when I was rejected it complacently shattered my confidence.
I sometimes wonder if the root of shyness and social anxiety is simply fear of rejection. I often feel that my fear has been my largest obstacle to overcome my shyness. I know shyness and social anxiety is caused by many different factors but for people like me fear of rejection is huge part of our struggle.
Even though I have improved a lot over the years, rejection still stings quite a bit. The difference is it used to sting for weeks and months but now only for few minutes. I wanted to share with you few things that I have done that have really helped me overcome my fear and shyness. So here we go:
1. Start focusing on the best case scenario instead of the worst case scenario
This thought change takes time but if you really focus you can change your life. When focusing on the best case scenario you will start to visualize all the potential gain of your actions rather that focusing on all the bad things that could happen. This method increases the odds you will have the necessary courage to act on your dreams instead of not acting in fear.
2. Get used to rejection
This is a very hard method but it could be worth it to try it out. Try out things you expect you will get rejected from. When you have been rejected often one rejection more is not such a big of a deal. You even might get a surprising approval you previously thought were not achievable.
3. “It is their problem” attitude.
Remember it is not all about you. If someone reject you it is not your problem. It’s theirs. Move on. Don’t get hung up on every rejection. Realize it might not be about you. You don’t need you look at every rejection as a personal judgement. It is possible it is their failure to see how great you are.
I hope this few tips will help you think about the importance of overcoming the fear of rejection in your journey of overcoming shyness.
Have a great day!